Why can't we burly women just get along?
Andrea Galluzzo & Sarah Arp
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Throughout time there have always seemed to be a few women with a physical toughness separate from the rest. We've seen many versions in history of these women pushing their burly toughness, such as the Greek Amazon warriors. Xena, TV's favorite warrior princess, reminds us of what these warriors might have been like. Today, these warriors have metamorphosed into what I like to call "the burly women." Through trials of scaling mountains, balancing off cliff-sides, paddling through rivers and enduring the elements, the outdoor women of today have fully earned their title as "burly."
There is one flaw, however, within the clan of burly women. An underlying layer of competition and covetous admiration, otherwise known as jealousy, exists throughout the burly women clan, threatening to tear them apart. This ever so destructive jealousy passes through two phases it seems; first, hating each other and then, hating our own selves.
I encountered the first jealousy phase during my beginning attempts to try and climb at our University's very own Indoor Climbing Center (located literally under the bleachers of Reser Stadium).
I found that women already initiated into this club of burly are not very welcoming towards the uninitiated girl. Once I started to develop skills and could actually climb up a few routes, and once my name and the word "burly" started to be used in the same sentence, I began to feel the pressure of competition pumping out of the jealous eyes of other girls in the gym.
Why was this? If I can pull a problem that you can't, does that mean your self worth is lessened? Are we that clouded by jealousy? If guys comment about my strength, instead of yours, does that make you less powerful? Why is it that when one woman climbs a route and feels good about it, I see other women looking at her as if she were one of those confident, gorgeous women who just walks into a room while every other woman reacts by saying "I hate her." Why can't we all be gorgeous?
Usually after a bit of time, this initial back-stabbing phase of jealousy passes and women begin to actually become friends. The trick for getting into this second phase of friendship? Spend time together away from the strain of competition. Recently with these new-forming friendships, I have found a whole new level of underlying feelings in the land of burly. What was once competition now turns into desire and envy. With all of my burly girlfriends that I have such good times with, it seems that we are constantly throwing compliments at each other.
Yet, each time I get a compliment, it is accompanied by a jab that I stab at my own self. For example, my friend tells me that she wishes she could run like me, while I sit there and jab myself saying, "Yah, but I can't climb like you." Why can't we take compliments or be at all happy with where we are at and what we have accomplished? It seems that I admire my burly woman friends while at the same time I belittle myself because I am not exactly as good as they are. The funny thing is that most of us feel this way! We're all admiring each other so intensely and at the same times forgetting to recognize any magic in our own selves!
I know that this column is for inspiring words about the wilderness and encouraging us all to get out and experience the outdoors. But I wanted to make sure that those women just starting to get out and those that are already going out are aware of the jealousy that might be passing through their heads as they experience their burly outdoor wonders.
My words of advise to these women? Stop comparing! Instead, enjoy all the wonderful people you have around you. Recognize their talents without neglecting to recognize your own. We need to transform this burly woman clan from being not just a group of physically fit women, but a group with physical prowess as well as a collective mindset in which we encounter our challenges with the support of those around us as well as our own self confidence.
Finally, I would like to leave you with some words of advise that are better said than my own; words from Nelson Mandella. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. You are born to make manifest the glory that is within you. It's not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Burly women unite together, go outside, and shine.
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