The Barometer Online

And really, who couldn't see this one coming? After a maelstrom of media hubbub, rap/rock figure Fred Durst has, as of late, been singing a different tune in terms of his alleged romantic involvement with pop icon Britney Spears.

The Limp Bizkit frontman had previously been on record as having an interest in Britney's skank-in-training, Christina Aguilera. Now he's reneging on his former assertion that he was indeed falling for Spears.

Upon his first encounter with the pop-princess, Durst told "Access Hollywood" that he thought Britney was "a very sweet Southern girl. Just simple, you know?" Sure, Freddy. I know lots of simple, sweet Southern girls who go to the Grammys dressed in nothing but 3 square inches of bejeweled fabric and a boa constrictor.

Yet, somewhere along the line the romance suffered a wrong turn. While it has not been determined who is actually responsible for the "breakup", given that Spears has never officially acknowledged the pairing, it is Durst who seems to be most interested in saving face.

"She has a life like Michael Jackson. It's, like, out of control," said Durst, before going on to say how sorry he felt for the chaotic diva.

As far as rumors of a musical collaboration between the pair are concerned, Durst -- who has lately begun to resemble an East L.A. version of the Pillsbury Doughboy -- denies any involvement with Britney's upcoming album.

"I didn't produce any songs for her," the aggro-rocker said. "She's just got a great ass."

With tender sentiments like that, it's a wonder that the relationship ever failed. And they say chivalry is dead.

J. Lo to spend months on Chief Wiggum impersonation

Once again it seems that Jennifer Lopez is trying to get her hand in our pockets. Assuming a literal interpretation of that adage, J. Lo's fingers in my Levi's wouldn't be a wholly objectionable notion -- but as it stands, she's only grabbing for money.

Satan ... er, I mean Miss Lopez, has recently committed to co-producing the upcoming New Line Cinema film, "Double or Nothing," which is slated to begin production in the next few months. It will be Lopez's first turn as Hollywood producer.

The screenplay, written by April Blair, portrays the story of a pair of female police officers -- one of which, it is rumored, will be played by Lopez -- who pool their detective skills to catch the killer of a murdered male officer who both were dating. A real-life analogy would be if Puff Daddy were to anonymously "bust a cap" in Ben Affleck, only to have J. Lo and Gwenyth Paltrow band together and hunt Puffy down.

Perhaps the film will later be released exclusively on widescreen edition DVD, in order to fully fit J. Lo's famously large derrière on the screen.

Jesse Robert is a diversions writer for The Daily Barometer. He can be reached at baro.diversions@studentmedia.orst.edu

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