Top-5: Worst Feelings
Small Town Folk
In 2003, I went on exchange in Vienna, Austria. As I prepared to leave, the well-meaning folk of my little village (Riddle, Ore., population approx. 900) imparted their sound advice: "Ride a gondola," and "Watch kangaroos in their natural habitat."
Explaining that I was not going to Australia, Venice, Las Vegas or Epcot and that they were, in fact, as dumb as all the hick jokes indicated is the worst feeling ever ... that, and velour.
- DD Bixby
Barometer editor
Excrement
After leaving a particularly lame party in a huff, I stepped out onto the streets of Corvallis and prepared to walk to my car.
Imagine my horror when my new shoe sank unnaturally into the ground. The scent of defecation invaded my nostrils and I realized I had just stepped in the largest pile of dog crap ever.
Only seeing Ugg boots worn with gaucho pants could make me feel worse.
- Nathalie Weinstein
Diversions Editor
Ruined T-shirts
I wore my orange OSU T-shirt to chemistry lab, and my hand slipped as I rinsed out a pipette with concentrated sulfuric acid.
"Did I splash?" I thought to myself. "Nah." Then I looked down.
"Hm, I don't remember a dark red stain on this shirt." Before my eyes, the stain grew larger and disintegrated from the center out.
Safely neutralizing the acid with baking soda, I thought to myself, "Dang ... I loved this shirt."
- Jennifer Moser
Copy editor
Being late to the record store
Nothing is worse than arriving to your local junk shop five minutes after it opens and realizing that someone else has purchased all of the Ziggy Stardust and Kinks records out from under you.
The only thing that can calm me down after such an incident is a large pint of ice cream and a harem of Vanessa Carltons.
- Jacob Jennings
Diversions writer
Baseball to the crotch
Now, I can't really say this with a bunch of clarity because it's actually never happened to me, but I'd have to say the worst feeling ever would have to be getting hit in the crotch with a baseball.
If my dad's reaction (falling to his knees, then onto his side while tearing up) was anything to base my conclusion on, I can say with a air of confidence that that is the worst feeling of all time. Ever.
Think about it! A 4-inch ball of leather-bound hardness hurtling to one of man's most private and sensitive of areas. It makes me tear up just thinking about it.
I'm going to go home and give my dad a hug - well, a manly one - as soon as I get off work.
- Matt Lewis
Forum Editor
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