Spring Break
New bac-core offers interesting perspectives
Matt Lewis
Issue date: 1/23/07 Section: Forum
I love baccalaureate core classes. They're pretty much the most amazing things ever. In theory. Like communism, bac-core classes are great in principle, but lack a certain something in practical application.
I can't think of another set of classes where I can sit in a lecture hall for an hour and a half and learn that the main reason for the wars between Europe and the Ottoman Empire was that some queen wanted more lip balm.
And who can blame her, really? Expensive lip balm is just - I don't know - un-American.
That's right. I also learned that I should never go against the pharmaceutical industry or else I can probably expect Rigoberto and Bubba knocking on my door threatening to break my knee caps.
Who knew the main reason for the revolutionary war was because people in the Americas were getting pretty dang tired of wearing those itchy British wigs? And all this time, I thought it had something to do with unfair taxation or some junk like that.
Sometimes I'm just so stupid.
Which leads me to my next generalized conclusion. I should be teaching my own bac-core class. It will be called America: Rogue Nation!
I won't actually have facts to back up my claims. I just have to have a lot of vim and vigor. Maybe a little hutzpah for an added bonus.
The basic premise of my revolutionary class will be fairly simple, really. Basically, everything you've ever held to be true is wrong. That's right, my friends. Absolutely, positively wrong.
Most of the time, we won't actually be discussing the actual topic of class, because really, I'm more interested in the cultural significance of Disney's Gummi Bears and other cartoons featured in The Disney Afternoon.
There will probably be at least one class dedicated to Uncle Scrooge and his money bin. We'll branch off into the physics of the show, focusing specifically on how he was able to dive into all that money and never get hurt.
We'll also be delving into the deep social and psychological commentary conveyed through the fact that although the main characters of "DuckTales" were, in fact, ducks, they never flew.
I can't think of another set of classes where I can sit in a lecture hall for an hour and a half and learn that the main reason for the wars between Europe and the Ottoman Empire was that some queen wanted more lip balm.
And who can blame her, really? Expensive lip balm is just - I don't know - un-American.
That's right. I also learned that I should never go against the pharmaceutical industry or else I can probably expect Rigoberto and Bubba knocking on my door threatening to break my knee caps.
Who knew the main reason for the revolutionary war was because people in the Americas were getting pretty dang tired of wearing those itchy British wigs? And all this time, I thought it had something to do with unfair taxation or some junk like that.
Sometimes I'm just so stupid.
Which leads me to my next generalized conclusion. I should be teaching my own bac-core class. It will be called America: Rogue Nation!
I won't actually have facts to back up my claims. I just have to have a lot of vim and vigor. Maybe a little hutzpah for an added bonus.
The basic premise of my revolutionary class will be fairly simple, really. Basically, everything you've ever held to be true is wrong. That's right, my friends. Absolutely, positively wrong.
Most of the time, we won't actually be discussing the actual topic of class, because really, I'm more interested in the cultural significance of Disney's Gummi Bears and other cartoons featured in The Disney Afternoon.
There will probably be at least one class dedicated to Uncle Scrooge and his money bin. We'll branch off into the physics of the show, focusing specifically on how he was able to dive into all that money and never get hurt.
We'll also be delving into the deep social and psychological commentary conveyed through the fact that although the main characters of "DuckTales" were, in fact, ducks, they never flew.
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