Spring Break
Sames and opposites
Nick Lilja
Issue date: 4/4/07 Section: Sports
I'd bet that 99 percent of the student population left Corvallis for spring break. I know this because I was a part of the one percent left behind.
Why did I stick around? Well, the answer is simple: I'm a sports nut, a true Beaver Believer, and I'm addicted to my job. That, and I'm poor. But being in town gave me a lot of time to catch up with my friend Demetri Martin. He helped me realize that life is interesting - there are a lot of things that are the same, but also a lot of things that are the complete opposite.
I have taken that knowledge and applied it to Beaver athletics.
The men's basketball team and the Pac-10 this season are the same as the words grape and fruit. Apart they are good, but put them together and, well, you get grapefruit, which is about as good as the men's record is in the Pac-10 this season.
Speaking of basketball, the national championship game was the opposite of a train wreck. Unlike the train wreck, I could look away from that game, and I did. During the boring second half, I left to go to Goodwill.
A Brianne McGowan pitch is the same as a semi truck, because if either were coming at you at 60 miles per hour, wearing a helmet and swinging a metal bat wouldn't do much good.
Joey Wong is the opposite of Greg Oden. I'm pretty sure Wong isn't 30, and, unlike Oden, he can dominate the opposition without lying about his age.
Beaver volleyball coach Taras Liskevych is the opposite of Ryan Leaf. If you expect an explanation as to why you are ignorant, then I direct you to his resume.
Duck fans in Corvallis are the same as European Starlings. When they show up, they are loud, obnoxious, and I just want to run them over with my car.
Pat Casey is the same as Mike Riley. The only difference is Casey has a higher winning percentage, gets paid far less and brought this school a national championship with Northwest recruits.
Gymnastics is the same as cup stacking. Both are on ESPN, and I can't do either.
Why did I stick around? Well, the answer is simple: I'm a sports nut, a true Beaver Believer, and I'm addicted to my job. That, and I'm poor. But being in town gave me a lot of time to catch up with my friend Demetri Martin. He helped me realize that life is interesting - there are a lot of things that are the same, but also a lot of things that are the complete opposite.
I have taken that knowledge and applied it to Beaver athletics.
The men's basketball team and the Pac-10 this season are the same as the words grape and fruit. Apart they are good, but put them together and, well, you get grapefruit, which is about as good as the men's record is in the Pac-10 this season.
Speaking of basketball, the national championship game was the opposite of a train wreck. Unlike the train wreck, I could look away from that game, and I did. During the boring second half, I left to go to Goodwill.
A Brianne McGowan pitch is the same as a semi truck, because if either were coming at you at 60 miles per hour, wearing a helmet and swinging a metal bat wouldn't do much good.
Joey Wong is the opposite of Greg Oden. I'm pretty sure Wong isn't 30, and, unlike Oden, he can dominate the opposition without lying about his age.
Beaver volleyball coach Taras Liskevych is the opposite of Ryan Leaf. If you expect an explanation as to why you are ignorant, then I direct you to his resume.
Duck fans in Corvallis are the same as European Starlings. When they show up, they are loud, obnoxious, and I just want to run them over with my car.
Pat Casey is the same as Mike Riley. The only difference is Casey has a higher winning percentage, gets paid far less and brought this school a national championship with Northwest recruits.
Gymnastics is the same as cup stacking. Both are on ESPN, and I can't do either.
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nick is a nut sack
posted 4/05/07 @ 3:08 PM PST
That was a piece of crap article from a piece of crap writer. What the hell is your point dude? I can write an essay on how ugly, stupid, and scronny you are. (Continued…)
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