Spring Break
The art of gifting, emotions behind it
Renee Roman Nose
Issue date: 1/16/08 Section: Forum
Often a gift is given when someone admires something that someone else has on, usually a piece of jewelry or an article of clothing, it is then presented to the person doing the admiring. My friend Melodye, who lives in Florida, has several pieces of jewelry from me and me from her. She is an artist and makes jewelry of great beauty which is a lucky break for me as her best friend. Another friend in Wyoming has a ring that I gave her; one in Arizona has a bracelet. The size of the gift is inconsequential; it is the love behind the gift that is what is truly prized and remembered.
During a trip to Regina, Saskatchewan 10 years ago, one of my friends admired my coat, a new ski jacket that was metallic blue and reversible. She swore that you couldn't find anything like that in Regina and was gushing over it. I promised it to her, but made her wait until my three day visit in December and I had an eight hour drive home from Canada to North Dakota where temperatures sometimes reach 70 below with the wind chill. To this day we joke about the "blueberry coat" and we each laugh about it.
The fact is I can get other rings, other bracelets, other coats, other whatever material thing it is that my friends or family members admire and I then gift to them. We, as Native people, all know that we aren't supposed to admire what belongs to someone else. So, when it does happen the admiration is genuine and heartfelt and the gifting should be no less. For many tribes once given, the gift cannot be "re-gifted." The gift given will always remind the bearer of the generosity and kindness of the person who gave it to them. It doesn't matter what the cost is, it may be expensive, or it may not.
What is important is that I cannot replace my family members or friends. No one can take their place. I joke with them that I have to come visit my ring in Florida, or my coat in Regina and they'll have to feed me while I'm there and let me sleep on their couches, then they laughingly threaten to do the same and we do.
During a trip to Regina, Saskatchewan 10 years ago, one of my friends admired my coat, a new ski jacket that was metallic blue and reversible. She swore that you couldn't find anything like that in Regina and was gushing over it. I promised it to her, but made her wait until my three day visit in December and I had an eight hour drive home from Canada to North Dakota where temperatures sometimes reach 70 below with the wind chill. To this day we joke about the "blueberry coat" and we each laugh about it.
The fact is I can get other rings, other bracelets, other coats, other whatever material thing it is that my friends or family members admire and I then gift to them. We, as Native people, all know that we aren't supposed to admire what belongs to someone else. So, when it does happen the admiration is genuine and heartfelt and the gifting should be no less. For many tribes once given, the gift cannot be "re-gifted." The gift given will always remind the bearer of the generosity and kindness of the person who gave it to them. It doesn't matter what the cost is, it may be expensive, or it may not.
What is important is that I cannot replace my family members or friends. No one can take their place. I joke with them that I have to come visit my ring in Florida, or my coat in Regina and they'll have to feed me while I'm there and let me sleep on their couches, then they laughingly threaten to do the same and we do.
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