Spring Break
Physical, sexual activity are different
Kathy Greaves
Issue date: 4/16/08 Section: Forum
Dr. Sex,
My girlfriend and I are not sexually active. She has chosen to wait to have sexual intercourse until she is married, which I respect. Although we are not having sex - per se - we are still physically active, taking part in just about every manner of physical activity - other than actual penetration. I generally wear a condom just to be on the safe side even though we are not having sex. Fingering, masturbation, oral, etc. are all fair game.
Now the reason I explained this was to ask you this... She keeps getting bladder infections. It seems as though at least once a month she is getting them and put on some sort of medication. Family friends have told me they used to get them all the time when they were younger and such, but they seem to be happening so often. I'm starting to wonder if it's something I'm doing to her or there's something I can do to fix it?
Signed, Am I Doing Something Wrong?
Dear Am I Doing Something Wrong,
There are two things I'll address here.
First I'll address an issue of semantics and then I'll answer your question about your girlfriend's bladder infections.
The issue of semantics has to do with your use of the phrases "sexually active" and "physically active." You say you are not sexually active, that you are not sexually active "per se," but that you are still physically active. I feel compelled to correct your use of these phrases.
Physically active means moving around physically and getting exercise, so going to the gym, walking, running, biking, playing tennis, swimming equals being physically active. What you are doing with your girlfriend has nothing to do with physical activity unless you are really moving around while doing it. What you are doing is being is sexually active - absolutely sexually active.
You said you were "taking part in just about every manner of physical activity other than actual penetration."
What you should have said was that you are "taking part in just about every manner of sexual activity other than actual penetration." You also said that you "generally wear a condom just to be on the safe side even though we are not having sex."
My girlfriend and I are not sexually active. She has chosen to wait to have sexual intercourse until she is married, which I respect. Although we are not having sex - per se - we are still physically active, taking part in just about every manner of physical activity - other than actual penetration. I generally wear a condom just to be on the safe side even though we are not having sex. Fingering, masturbation, oral, etc. are all fair game.
Now the reason I explained this was to ask you this... She keeps getting bladder infections. It seems as though at least once a month she is getting them and put on some sort of medication. Family friends have told me they used to get them all the time when they were younger and such, but they seem to be happening so often. I'm starting to wonder if it's something I'm doing to her or there's something I can do to fix it?
Signed, Am I Doing Something Wrong?
Dear Am I Doing Something Wrong,
There are two things I'll address here.
First I'll address an issue of semantics and then I'll answer your question about your girlfriend's bladder infections.
The issue of semantics has to do with your use of the phrases "sexually active" and "physically active." You say you are not sexually active, that you are not sexually active "per se," but that you are still physically active. I feel compelled to correct your use of these phrases.
Physically active means moving around physically and getting exercise, so going to the gym, walking, running, biking, playing tennis, swimming equals being physically active. What you are doing with your girlfriend has nothing to do with physical activity unless you are really moving around while doing it. What you are doing is being is sexually active - absolutely sexually active.
You said you were "taking part in just about every manner of physical activity other than actual penetration."
What you should have said was that you are "taking part in just about every manner of sexual activity other than actual penetration." You also said that you "generally wear a condom just to be on the safe side even though we are not having sex."
Note: writers will not reply to comments.
Comments by registered users are approved by default.