Spring Break
Changes during a relationship
Kathy Greaves
Issue date: 5/1/08 Section: Forum
So in your boyfriend's case, if he is gay, he needs to come to terms with that in his own time.
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to hasten that process along. If he thinks "he could possibly become gay someday," I suggest that you encourage him to explore his sexuality in more depth. Don't push the issue, just suggest it. It isn't doing anyone any good for him to be living a lie if he does happen to be gay. If not, it can't hurt to have a clearer sense of one's sexuality.
In the meantime, you can be supportive and make sure he knows that whoever he is, you will always care about him. Even if he does come to the conclusion that he is gay, you won't lose him entirely. He obviously won't be your boyfriend anymore, but he certainly can still be your good friend.
Dear Dr. Sex,
When people enter a sexual relationship, does the amount of masturbation fluctuate for males and females? Do women end up masturbating much less, but men the same amount? Is it bad if people in sexual relationships maintain the same amount of masturbation?
Signed, Relationship Wonderer
Dear Relationship Wonderer,
In the context of a relationship, some people continue to masturbate at the same rate as they did prior to the relationship, while the rate for others drops dramatically. Some individuals masturbate when their partner isn't interested in sex, while others don't masturbate but simply wait for their partner to become interested.
Some couples masturbate in front of each other as part of their partnered sexual activities. The bottom line is if people in sexual relationships maintain the same amount of masturbation as they did prior to that relationship, it is only "bad" if they are doing that because their partner isn't satisfying them, but they don't know how to talk about it.
Kathy Greaves Ph.D., is a senior instructor at OSU in the department of human development and family sciences. The opinions expressed in her columns do not necessarily represent the views of the Daily Barometer staff. Greaves can be reached at kathy.greaves@oregonstate.edu or by placing questions in the box at the MU information desk. All questions submitted to Greaves are subject to being answered in her Dr. Sex column.
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to hasten that process along. If he thinks "he could possibly become gay someday," I suggest that you encourage him to explore his sexuality in more depth. Don't push the issue, just suggest it. It isn't doing anyone any good for him to be living a lie if he does happen to be gay. If not, it can't hurt to have a clearer sense of one's sexuality.
In the meantime, you can be supportive and make sure he knows that whoever he is, you will always care about him. Even if he does come to the conclusion that he is gay, you won't lose him entirely. He obviously won't be your boyfriend anymore, but he certainly can still be your good friend.
Dear Dr. Sex,
When people enter a sexual relationship, does the amount of masturbation fluctuate for males and females? Do women end up masturbating much less, but men the same amount? Is it bad if people in sexual relationships maintain the same amount of masturbation?
Signed, Relationship Wonderer
Dear Relationship Wonderer,
In the context of a relationship, some people continue to masturbate at the same rate as they did prior to the relationship, while the rate for others drops dramatically. Some individuals masturbate when their partner isn't interested in sex, while others don't masturbate but simply wait for their partner to become interested.
Some couples masturbate in front of each other as part of their partnered sexual activities. The bottom line is if people in sexual relationships maintain the same amount of masturbation as they did prior to that relationship, it is only "bad" if they are doing that because their partner isn't satisfying them, but they don't know how to talk about it.
Kathy Greaves Ph.D., is a senior instructor at OSU in the department of human development and family sciences. The opinions expressed in her columns do not necessarily represent the views of the Daily Barometer staff. Greaves can be reached at kathy.greaves@oregonstate.edu or by placing questions in the box at the MU information desk. All questions submitted to Greaves are subject to being answered in her Dr. Sex column.
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