Changes during a relationship
Kathy Greaves
Issue date: 5/1/08 Section: Forum
Dear Dr. Sex,
When I have rear entry (doggy style) sex with my boyfriend after I have had an orgasm, I noticed that my PC muscles get super tense. It can almost be to the point where it is painful. Any other position is not as bad, but doggy style is. Do you know why this occurs?
Signed, Tense Down Below
Dear Tense Down Below,
The PC (pubococcygeus) muscle stretches from the pubic bone to the tailbone and it contracts during orgasm. My guess is that it is still contracted and rear entry style somehow pushes on that muscle more so than front entry. My only suggestion is to stick to some front entry position until that muscle has had a chance to relax and then move "back" to rear entry.
Dear Dr. Sex,
My boyfriend of three years has two homosexual relatives. Sometimes I think my boyfriend seems to have a pretty low sex drive, but that might be the stereotype of what males are supposed to be like. Because of this, I sometimes wonder if he is going to be gay or not. It scares me to think about possibly losing him, and I wish I could stop thinking about whether he will follow in the footsteps of the rest of his family. He says that he could possibly become gay someday, but that he thinks it's highly unlikely. Do you think I should just stop thinking about it and relax?
Signed, Is My Boyfriend Going to Turn Gay?
Dear Is My Boyfriend Going to Turn Gay?
The research suggests that there does seem to be some genetic component to homosexuality, but exactly what it is still is not understood. It sounds like what you are afraid of is that at some point in adulthood, your boyfriend will begin identifying as homosexual when previously he always identified as heterosexual.
Most of the research suggests that an individual doesn't "become" homosexual at some point in his or her life. They just decide to accept their homosexuality at that point. What is likely going on here is that the individual was always homosexual, but either didn't recognize it or was denying it.
When I have rear entry (doggy style) sex with my boyfriend after I have had an orgasm, I noticed that my PC muscles get super tense. It can almost be to the point where it is painful. Any other position is not as bad, but doggy style is. Do you know why this occurs?
Signed, Tense Down Below
Dear Tense Down Below,
The PC (pubococcygeus) muscle stretches from the pubic bone to the tailbone and it contracts during orgasm. My guess is that it is still contracted and rear entry style somehow pushes on that muscle more so than front entry. My only suggestion is to stick to some front entry position until that muscle has had a chance to relax and then move "back" to rear entry.
Dear Dr. Sex,
My boyfriend of three years has two homosexual relatives. Sometimes I think my boyfriend seems to have a pretty low sex drive, but that might be the stereotype of what males are supposed to be like. Because of this, I sometimes wonder if he is going to be gay or not. It scares me to think about possibly losing him, and I wish I could stop thinking about whether he will follow in the footsteps of the rest of his family. He says that he could possibly become gay someday, but that he thinks it's highly unlikely. Do you think I should just stop thinking about it and relax?
Signed, Is My Boyfriend Going to Turn Gay?
Dear Is My Boyfriend Going to Turn Gay?
The research suggests that there does seem to be some genetic component to homosexuality, but exactly what it is still is not understood. It sounds like what you are afraid of is that at some point in adulthood, your boyfriend will begin identifying as homosexual when previously he always identified as heterosexual.
Most of the research suggests that an individual doesn't "become" homosexual at some point in his or her life. They just decide to accept their homosexuality at that point. What is likely going on here is that the individual was always homosexual, but either didn't recognize it or was denying it.
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