Spring Break
Randomonium
Ruben Casas
Issue date: 5/16/08 Section: Diversions
A "fair and speedy trial," when the federal government is the defendant, is something you can be sure goes into the Things That Aren't True At All heap - and never mind the numerous countersuits that have arisen since the beginning of the War on Terror. Here's one that is completely home-grown (as if terror wasn't): "A discrimination lawsuit filed by African-American employees against the Secret Service has dragged on for more than eight years, prompting the plaintiffs to accuse the government's lawyers of dragging their feet," reports Bonnie Goldstein on Slate.com.
But hey, who can blame the feds. I mean, would you want e-mails that you've written in which you - the assistant director of the Office of Government Liaison and Public Affairs - use imaginary worlds from a "fifth grade Ebonics assignment," or in which you joke about killing Jesse Jackson, or about painting robotic golf caddies black to observe that they then "didn't show up for work… filed for welfare and… robbed the pro shop." Heck, if I wrote these e-mails and sent them out to at least 20 of my high-ranking colleagues, I wouldn't want them introduced into a court of law either, so maybe eight years isn't that bad when we consider how long the government typically takes to fess up to all its deeds.
Ruben Casas
diversions@dailybarometer.com
But hey, who can blame the feds. I mean, would you want e-mails that you've written in which you - the assistant director of the Office of Government Liaison and Public Affairs - use imaginary worlds from a "fifth grade Ebonics assignment," or in which you joke about killing Jesse Jackson, or about painting robotic golf caddies black to observe that they then "didn't show up for work… filed for welfare and… robbed the pro shop." Heck, if I wrote these e-mails and sent them out to at least 20 of my high-ranking colleagues, I wouldn't want them introduced into a court of law either, so maybe eight years isn't that bad when we consider how long the government typically takes to fess up to all its deeds.
Ruben Casas
diversions@dailybarometer.com
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