Spring Break
Living the life of a student wife
Rachel Spitler
Issue date: 5/21/08 Section: Forum
It was January 2006, the first day of a new school term. Everything went basically the same way it always had: I picked a nice outfit, printed my schedule, stocked up on pencil lead. There wasn't anything unusual about the situation at all, except for one thing.
It was my first new term since getting married.
Cheerfully settling down into my seat, I listened as the teacher reviewed her syllabus and instructed us to turn to a neighbor and introduce ourselves.
The girl next to me said hello, and we talked pleasantly for a few minutes. Then she spotted the diamond ring on my left hand, and her eyes widened.
"Are you engaged?"
"I'm married," I said, beaming, tickled that someone had noticed already.
To my surprise, the girl didn't seem pleased or even curious. She stared at me like I had suddenly become a cubist painting, like she could no longer understand or wrap her mind around the apparition before her.
"Why?" she asked, agog.
I don't remember exactly how I responded. I was more than a little startled.
I probably gave her the half-logical, half-romantic explanation I give everyone: that I had already known Heath, my new husband, for seven years, and that we had been very close friends all that time.
When we had finally started dating, it very quickly became clear that we were better and happier together than apart.
However I said it, she didn't seem very convinced. In retrospect, I don't think that was really what she was asking.
In all likelihood, she wasn't questioning either my romantic tastes or my ability to make life-changing decisions.
I think she was asking, why marriage? Why in college? Are you pregnant? How old are you, anyway?
Of course, anyone's answers to those questions would be unique. I hardly know how to answer them even for myself; a lot of my reasoning has to do with our religion, and a lot would be best explained by watching Heath and me hang out. We're both pretty strange. It just kind of works.
It was my first new term since getting married.
Cheerfully settling down into my seat, I listened as the teacher reviewed her syllabus and instructed us to turn to a neighbor and introduce ourselves.
The girl next to me said hello, and we talked pleasantly for a few minutes. Then she spotted the diamond ring on my left hand, and her eyes widened.
"Are you engaged?"
"I'm married," I said, beaming, tickled that someone had noticed already.
To my surprise, the girl didn't seem pleased or even curious. She stared at me like I had suddenly become a cubist painting, like she could no longer understand or wrap her mind around the apparition before her.
"Why?" she asked, agog.
I don't remember exactly how I responded. I was more than a little startled.
I probably gave her the half-logical, half-romantic explanation I give everyone: that I had already known Heath, my new husband, for seven years, and that we had been very close friends all that time.
When we had finally started dating, it very quickly became clear that we were better and happier together than apart.
However I said it, she didn't seem very convinced. In retrospect, I don't think that was really what she was asking.
In all likelihood, she wasn't questioning either my romantic tastes or my ability to make life-changing decisions.
I think she was asking, why marriage? Why in college? Are you pregnant? How old are you, anyway?
Of course, anyone's answers to those questions would be unique. I hardly know how to answer them even for myself; a lot of my reasoning has to do with our religion, and a lot would be best explained by watching Heath and me hang out. We're both pretty strange. It just kind of works.
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Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 5
Stephen Rowe
posted 5/21/08 @ 7:30 AM PST
Regarding the reaction of your classmate, it seems things haven't really changed so much in the 20 years since I've been to college.
Thanks for a nice slice of life look. (Continued…)
Crystal Lehner
posted 5/21/08 @ 11:43 AM PST
I was also married at 19 while still attending college, and I also received the same reaction from my classmates; the confused looks, the awkward questions. (Continued…)
petrosianii
Hawaii Wedding Planner
posted 11/04/08 @ 12:47 PM PST
One of my colleagues has worked a lot with younger brides, or couples who are going through the stress of planning a wedding while going to school. And then, there's not only the stress of being getting married as a student, but being a student wife (or husband) while in college can present its own levels of stress. (Continued…)
Abby
posted 11/04/08 @ 6:37 PM PST
Rachel, I am also a married student. I was married at age 20 and now at 24 am in my senior year at OSU. I have had my fair share of odd looks and comments in regards to my matrimonial state. (Continued…)
Alisha
posted 11/09/08 @ 10:04 PM PST
I wonder if I was the girl sitting next to you. Except, it would have been Fall 2005, and Spanish class.
I went to a Christian University for several years, and noticed that you mention prayer in this column. (Continued…)
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