Spring Break
The cost of free love, worth of hook-ups
Rose Hansen
Issue date: 9/30/08 Section: Forum
In medieval times, ladies threw their handkerchiefs to knights as a symbol of love. In "Pretty Woman," Richard Gere used roses. You don't have to look hard to find insurmountable evidence of that mysterious, elusive emotion. However, our generation's ideas about love, sex, and relationships have evolved far from Romeo and Juliet. We live in a culture that encourages equality between women and men, including the right to celebrate sex freely. We don't date. We don't wait for guys to open doors. Welcome to the "hook-up" culture. Gone are the expectations of emotional love and support from the opposite sex just because you're having sex with them.
There are two routes to take if you participate in the hook-up culture. You can have one-night stands or a casual sex relationship. Is this good? There are certainly enough people out there who do it. Casual sex relationships are not one-night stands and last over a period of time. They're common between roommates, co-workers, long-time friends, and exes. Every story is different.
In my story, he's handsome, charming, and hard to resist. The attraction was mutual. At first, being casual seemed like the safe way to get what we wanted without being confined to a relationship. This required putting aside the fact that human beings aren't just bodies, but vessels holding everything that makes us us: our talents, our stories, our hearts. Nonetheless, I was well versed in safe sex and went the distance to keep my body safe, despite the inability to ensure that the sex, as a whole, was ever truly safe. There's no device to protect what isn't physical. Little was discussed about ground rules, and defining the limits was a taxing process that centered around sex, our glue, our fix-it-all.
In the beginning, the sex was mind-blowing. And without responsibilities! Strictly casual. Those were the terms. After all, good sex is rare and a hell of an experience. Who am I to turn it down?
As the months passed, I kept waiting for the buzz to wear off, but it didn't. I started to wonder, why is sex with this individual so good? Ask most women, and they'll tell you that the best sex is emotional sex. Over time, I learned that the emotion doesn't have to be love.
There are two routes to take if you participate in the hook-up culture. You can have one-night stands or a casual sex relationship. Is this good? There are certainly enough people out there who do it. Casual sex relationships are not one-night stands and last over a period of time. They're common between roommates, co-workers, long-time friends, and exes. Every story is different.
In my story, he's handsome, charming, and hard to resist. The attraction was mutual. At first, being casual seemed like the safe way to get what we wanted without being confined to a relationship. This required putting aside the fact that human beings aren't just bodies, but vessels holding everything that makes us us: our talents, our stories, our hearts. Nonetheless, I was well versed in safe sex and went the distance to keep my body safe, despite the inability to ensure that the sex, as a whole, was ever truly safe. There's no device to protect what isn't physical. Little was discussed about ground rules, and defining the limits was a taxing process that centered around sex, our glue, our fix-it-all.
In the beginning, the sex was mind-blowing. And without responsibilities! Strictly casual. Those were the terms. After all, good sex is rare and a hell of an experience. Who am I to turn it down?
As the months passed, I kept waiting for the buzz to wear off, but it didn't. I started to wonder, why is sex with this individual so good? Ask most women, and they'll tell you that the best sex is emotional sex. Over time, I learned that the emotion doesn't have to be love.
Note: writers will not reply to comments.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
epador
posted 10/05/08 @ 10:28 AM PST
Seems like each generation chooses to ignore the lessons of their elders and has to find out for themselves the real world has consequences, that nothing is free of them, and that you can only fool yourself and others for so long. (Continued…)
bella
posted 10/23/08 @ 6:57 PM PST
ultimately it is about destiny. these things can lead to something else. maybe the trick is to just not worry about it so much.
Post a Comment
Comments by registered users are approved by default.