Spring Break
Permanent birth control choices redefine my identity as a woman
Rose Hansen
Issue date: 10/7/08 Section: Forum
This should be a good thing, right? I'm young. I'm in college. There are still places to see, people to meet, things to do, food to taste and sex to be had. Besides, having complete control over when I have children is the new American way. In our country, many women have evolved past having babies in our teens and twenties, when our bodies are ready for it. Now, we have them in our thirties and sometimes forties, when our incomes are ready for it.
But still, it's weird. Since ancient times, having children is universally linked with womanhood. Fertility is so celebrated in history and culture that it seems strange to purposefully shut it off. I never questioned birth control while I was taking oral contraceptives, but I think my growing discomfort with Implanon is because its effectiveness is so absolute.
I don't even know if I ever want children, and I've never had sex with the intention of getting pregnant. But in the back of my head, I always assumed that if I did get pregnant, that would be my baby. I had taken the steps to prevent pregnancy, but if it happened, it would be the baby I was supposed to have.
My temporary inability to bear children is jarring my self-perception. Is a woman who shaves her head less feminine? What about a man with long hair? Are you still a woman after you lose your breasts to cancer? A man without testicles? And for those who can't bear children, are their personal identities forever altered?
In perspective, questioning my identity is probably better than the irreversible life changes that result from accidentally having children - especially without the income to support it. For now, I've got three years to wonder.
But still, it's weird. Since ancient times, having children is universally linked with womanhood. Fertility is so celebrated in history and culture that it seems strange to purposefully shut it off. I never questioned birth control while I was taking oral contraceptives, but I think my growing discomfort with Implanon is because its effectiveness is so absolute.
I don't even know if I ever want children, and I've never had sex with the intention of getting pregnant. But in the back of my head, I always assumed that if I did get pregnant, that would be my baby. I had taken the steps to prevent pregnancy, but if it happened, it would be the baby I was supposed to have.
My temporary inability to bear children is jarring my self-perception. Is a woman who shaves her head less feminine? What about a man with long hair? Are you still a woman after you lose your breasts to cancer? A man without testicles? And for those who can't bear children, are their personal identities forever altered?
In perspective, questioning my identity is probably better than the irreversible life changes that result from accidentally having children - especially without the income to support it. For now, I've got three years to wonder.
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Simon
posted 10/27/08 @ 1:46 AM PST
It is interesting to read and there are some interesting questions raised. However what struck me is the plurality of options out there nowadays. Did you know that in Japan the pill was legally prohibited until a few years ago? So condom use still accounts for about 90%. (Continued…)
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