Spring Break
Alex re-evaluates religion: Rev. Shawn in the Quad
Alex McElroy
Issue date: 12/5/08 Section: Diversions
But the best thing about him was his openness to other religions. Instead of cutting people of when they inquired with dissenting opinions, he let them finish their thoughts, and even came back to them sometimes. To him, it didn't matter what we believed, all that mattered was what he believed. If that's not tolerance, then color me Purple Mountain's Prejudiced. He had to have known his attempts were futile; we're in college. Preaching to students about the dangers of premarital sex and moral standards is like telling a blind person it's sunny. He tried to scare us by bringing up our souls and their hell-bound trajectory, but I long ago lost my soul in a game of HORSE - I didn't want an E - and I bet most of crowd gambled it away in fiddle-offs or watched it sneeze away as they patiently waited for a classmate's "bless you."
But I don't think he was there to convert any of us - though I did have to leave for class; he may have led the crowd to the Willamette for baptisms. Most likely, he was there to do what he did: argue. God was what changed his life, and he was sure that all of us cared. But we didn't; we had classes to get to and neighbor's wives to covet.
He did get half of what he wanted: the lively crowd yelling at him. Shawn may not be a bad person, and he may not be argumentative, but he labeled himself as both when he decided to spread The Word while standing before a crowd of bystanders. People don't want to be forced to convert; we want to do it because the new denomination requires less tax-paying or missionaries are making promises they expect God to keep.
But Shawn needn't heed my advice; he's probably already at another college, passive-aggressively mocking students who flip him off, claiming that he wants them to stay. But the reverend is just like any slick-talking salesman. He knows to repeat ambiguous testimonials when challenged with rival products - "Evolution may be on your timeline, but God is older than time." It takes a certain type of man to peddle the popular merchandise known as religion. Usually these men reserve their practice for Sunday mornings, but Shawn couldn't wait; the obviously noxious future he predicted needed to be prepared for immediately.
Alex McElroy
diversions@dailybarometer.com
But I don't think he was there to convert any of us - though I did have to leave for class; he may have led the crowd to the Willamette for baptisms. Most likely, he was there to do what he did: argue. God was what changed his life, and he was sure that all of us cared. But we didn't; we had classes to get to and neighbor's wives to covet.
He did get half of what he wanted: the lively crowd yelling at him. Shawn may not be a bad person, and he may not be argumentative, but he labeled himself as both when he decided to spread The Word while standing before a crowd of bystanders. People don't want to be forced to convert; we want to do it because the new denomination requires less tax-paying or missionaries are making promises they expect God to keep.
But Shawn needn't heed my advice; he's probably already at another college, passive-aggressively mocking students who flip him off, claiming that he wants them to stay. But the reverend is just like any slick-talking salesman. He knows to repeat ambiguous testimonials when challenged with rival products - "Evolution may be on your timeline, but God is older than time." It takes a certain type of man to peddle the popular merchandise known as religion. Usually these men reserve their practice for Sunday mornings, but Shawn couldn't wait; the obviously noxious future he predicted needed to be prepared for immediately.
Alex McElroy
diversions@dailybarometer.com
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