Opening the door to masturbation
Rose Hansen
Issue date: 1/6/09 Section: Forum
Once when I was fourteen, I was playing cards with the neighborhood boys, and they started talking about masturbating. Actually, I think they referred to it as "slapping the salami." When I shared one of my own stories about masturbating, their reaction was something between erotic shock and disgust.
Not much has changed since them. The whole topic of masturbation is a social taboo. While our culture is clearly capable of carrying out open discussions about most forms of sex - vaginal, anal, casual, good and bad - masturbation, or sex with yourself, is virtually excluded from most conversations.
And while masturbation is expected of men (consider all the slang terms that exist to describe it), it's often portrayed as a shameful, pathetic activity for women.
In fact, the only time it ever seems encouraged for females is if they're doing it to enhance sex with a partner. Read the sex advice sections of women's magazines like "Self," "Cosmopolitan" and "Glamour." The most common published motive for masturbating is to learn how to achieve an orgasm and then transfer this knowledge to intercourse.
But there's nothing on masturbating just because you want to.
When's the last time you heard a girl say, "Well, I was horny, and I just felt like masturbating"? The only time I ever hear girls talk about masturbating is when they admit to engaging in mutual masturbation or using it as a sleep aid.
Ahem. So here's to breaking the mold.
I won a vibrator at a Passion Party last term - battery operated, green and phallic. And I use it. It's not a deeply emotional experience for me. I don't do the whole bubble bath, candlelight thing. It's more like a snack - something to do because I have an appetite for it, and it satisfies.
Laugh all you want, but as Woody Allen famously said, "Don't knock masturbation; it's sex with someone I love." And that's more than can be said about many other forms of sex.
In fact, when you think about it, it's amazing that masturbation isn't widely encouraged. They never said it during the sex education I had in middle school, but it's the safest sex you can have. After all, there's absolutely no chance of getting pregnant, and it's impossible to contract a sexually transmitted infection.
Not much has changed since them. The whole topic of masturbation is a social taboo. While our culture is clearly capable of carrying out open discussions about most forms of sex - vaginal, anal, casual, good and bad - masturbation, or sex with yourself, is virtually excluded from most conversations.
And while masturbation is expected of men (consider all the slang terms that exist to describe it), it's often portrayed as a shameful, pathetic activity for women.
In fact, the only time it ever seems encouraged for females is if they're doing it to enhance sex with a partner. Read the sex advice sections of women's magazines like "Self," "Cosmopolitan" and "Glamour." The most common published motive for masturbating is to learn how to achieve an orgasm and then transfer this knowledge to intercourse.
But there's nothing on masturbating just because you want to.
When's the last time you heard a girl say, "Well, I was horny, and I just felt like masturbating"? The only time I ever hear girls talk about masturbating is when they admit to engaging in mutual masturbation or using it as a sleep aid.
Ahem. So here's to breaking the mold.
I won a vibrator at a Passion Party last term - battery operated, green and phallic. And I use it. It's not a deeply emotional experience for me. I don't do the whole bubble bath, candlelight thing. It's more like a snack - something to do because I have an appetite for it, and it satisfies.
Laugh all you want, but as Woody Allen famously said, "Don't knock masturbation; it's sex with someone I love." And that's more than can be said about many other forms of sex.
In fact, when you think about it, it's amazing that masturbation isn't widely encouraged. They never said it during the sex education I had in middle school, but it's the safest sex you can have. After all, there's absolutely no chance of getting pregnant, and it's impossible to contract a sexually transmitted infection.
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Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 5
Kacey
posted 1/06/09 @ 2:07 AM PST
i agree actually i am thinking about going out and getting a jack rabbit inpulse, i think thats what its called, anyhooo but its a tad bit pricey and im not sure im willing to pay that much for it, but yes i agree i think that its much safer then casual sex and yet society tends to relate female masterbation with permiscuity. (Continued…)
Mark
posted 1/06/09 @ 12:15 PM PST
I had to take Psychology classes when I was in school, and I was assigned to study the topic. Our conclusions were interesting: We found that 0.8% of participants regularly practiced self-gratification and openly talked about it; 72. (Continued…)
Aaron
posted 1/06/09 @ 4:49 PM PST
These days people are really a lot more enlightened about his subject, at least out here on the West Coast. It's not just in the area of masturbation that women are not really encouraged to be equals. (Continued…)
FLYBOYKUAO
Mark L
posted 1/06/09 @ 6:56 PM PST
Speaking to your point about being scorned by religious leaders, the popular advocacy group "Focus on the Family" had an interesting statistic regarding self-gratification. (Continued…)
VOJADAMORE
posted 1/18/09 @ 4:27 PM PST
I think that masturbation it is a good think a good method to be happy and to go to sleep too
it is not dangerous (specially for girls) and it is satisfating
i hope that girls say the truth finally about masturbation
andrea from italy
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