Spring Break
Top 6 movies that should have been nominated
Ian Grogan
Issue date: 2/27/09 Section: Diversions
Every year at about this time, America is blessed with the Academy Awards. This show highlights the best movies of the recent year. 2008 was a pretty progressive year as far as movies go, (and the awards reflected that) but I was sadly disappointed when I found out the Academy failed to highlight some other greats.
Granted "Slumdog Millionare" and "Benjamin Button" may have been amazing pieces of art (I wouldn't know, I didn't see either), but those movies and the others just seemed like long-winded, dramatic pieces of fiction. I mean, on one hand you have Benjamin who is growing younger as he grows older? How much sense does that make? Then you have a kid who goes on a game show and wins a million dollars. I've heard that story before. Those are only a few of the "winners" this year.
I want to propose my own Award Ceremony. Maybe next year, I'll be running the show.
1. Best Comedy: "Love Guru"
Anybody who says that Mike Meyers has lost his touch is wrong. In this glorious piece of cinematic comedy, we find Guru Pitka (Meyers), an American raised by gurus to become the greatest Love Guru of all time, or second best behind Deepak Chopra. What is a "Love Guru" you ask? Well, for those that don't habla guru, it means he is a living sex god. His mission is to help couples through various classes and one-on-one teachings. The bulk of the movie is Pitka trying to help Darren Roanoke get his wife back. Of course humor ensues, humor like various midget jokes and elephant love sessions. The cast includes such icons as Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake and Verne Troyer. That's right, two hotties and Mini-me. How wasn't this nominated?
2. Best Horror Film: "Diary of the Dead"
Early 2008 gave rise to zombies all over again as George A. Romero returns with his newest installment, "Diary of the Dead." Although it received little success on the big screen, this piece of undead gold received praises around cult followers. Romero brings us to a group of college film students working on their senior project as a zombie outbreak occurs. One may argue that the acting was a little "cheap" to say the least, and the gore was excessive, but isn't that what makes a horror movie? These movies should be hailed more than they are. Romero is warning us of our impending doom, and no one is heeding his warning. Shame on you, Mr. Oscar, for hiding the truth from America.
Granted "Slumdog Millionare" and "Benjamin Button" may have been amazing pieces of art (I wouldn't know, I didn't see either), but those movies and the others just seemed like long-winded, dramatic pieces of fiction. I mean, on one hand you have Benjamin who is growing younger as he grows older? How much sense does that make? Then you have a kid who goes on a game show and wins a million dollars. I've heard that story before. Those are only a few of the "winners" this year.
I want to propose my own Award Ceremony. Maybe next year, I'll be running the show.
1. Best Comedy: "Love Guru"
Anybody who says that Mike Meyers has lost his touch is wrong. In this glorious piece of cinematic comedy, we find Guru Pitka (Meyers), an American raised by gurus to become the greatest Love Guru of all time, or second best behind Deepak Chopra. What is a "Love Guru" you ask? Well, for those that don't habla guru, it means he is a living sex god. His mission is to help couples through various classes and one-on-one teachings. The bulk of the movie is Pitka trying to help Darren Roanoke get his wife back. Of course humor ensues, humor like various midget jokes and elephant love sessions. The cast includes such icons as Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake and Verne Troyer. That's right, two hotties and Mini-me. How wasn't this nominated?
2. Best Horror Film: "Diary of the Dead"
Early 2008 gave rise to zombies all over again as George A. Romero returns with his newest installment, "Diary of the Dead." Although it received little success on the big screen, this piece of undead gold received praises around cult followers. Romero brings us to a group of college film students working on their senior project as a zombie outbreak occurs. One may argue that the acting was a little "cheap" to say the least, and the gore was excessive, but isn't that what makes a horror movie? These movies should be hailed more than they are. Romero is warning us of our impending doom, and no one is heeding his warning. Shame on you, Mr. Oscar, for hiding the truth from America.
Note: writers will not reply to comments.
Be the first to comment on this story
Comments by registered users are approved by default.