Spring Break
'Impure' thoughts unleashed as temperature rises
Alex McElroy
Issue date: 4/10/09 Section: Forum
With spring comes the re-emergence of the sun, which of course leads to the disappearance of multiple layers of clothing. Humans, unlike most domesticated mammals, do not leave thick clumps of hair on all couches and carpets they've lain on, but cram parkas and gloves into Tupperware coffins, sliding them beneath their beds in a ritual exchange that leaves them with a closet full of shorts and tank tops.
Though this might sound a like reclusive process, the truth is that the human's arrival to spring is nothing less than a parade. They situate themselves on public lawns, the females clad scantily, thumbing through magazines or feigning disinterest, while shirtless males toss plastic discs or leather eggs.
I'd like to say that I take this all in objectively and that the only reason I turn my head while walking toward the MU from the library is to glimpse at the clock-tower, but I'd prefer not to lie.
Fact is, I'm checking people out - women and men. How can one know the worth of his '98 Civic if he doesn't know what a '09 Z4 is going for?
And this leads to the big question: does all this glancing and comparing make me sexually obsessive? Despite our assumption that men think of sex every blah/whatever seconds, it no less makes doing so morally atrocious.
But with the student inclination to sunbathe on the two lawns most frequently framed by class-goers, where does the blame lie for such deviant thoughts? Is it fault of the women innocently trying to take in a healthy dose of vitamin D - which can be obtained through the arms and legs, not only the cleavage - or men for deriving the sexuality in the first place?
No matter the answer, the end product is simple: sex sells. We want it, and with good reason. Without the human urge to fall in love with another's eyes, bone structure, or - occasionally - personality, none of us would be here.
So shouldn't we thank nature for this beautiful sunlight, letting us all know that "Mark might be kind of an ass, but look at those abs!" or "Who knew Teri had a body like that beneath the sweatpants and hoodie?"
Though this might sound a like reclusive process, the truth is that the human's arrival to spring is nothing less than a parade. They situate themselves on public lawns, the females clad scantily, thumbing through magazines or feigning disinterest, while shirtless males toss plastic discs or leather eggs.
I'd like to say that I take this all in objectively and that the only reason I turn my head while walking toward the MU from the library is to glimpse at the clock-tower, but I'd prefer not to lie.
Fact is, I'm checking people out - women and men. How can one know the worth of his '98 Civic if he doesn't know what a '09 Z4 is going for?
And this leads to the big question: does all this glancing and comparing make me sexually obsessive? Despite our assumption that men think of sex every blah/whatever seconds, it no less makes doing so morally atrocious.
But with the student inclination to sunbathe on the two lawns most frequently framed by class-goers, where does the blame lie for such deviant thoughts? Is it fault of the women innocently trying to take in a healthy dose of vitamin D - which can be obtained through the arms and legs, not only the cleavage - or men for deriving the sexuality in the first place?
No matter the answer, the end product is simple: sex sells. We want it, and with good reason. Without the human urge to fall in love with another's eyes, bone structure, or - occasionally - personality, none of us would be here.
So shouldn't we thank nature for this beautiful sunlight, letting us all know that "Mark might be kind of an ass, but look at those abs!" or "Who knew Teri had a body like that beneath the sweatpants and hoodie?"
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