Spring Break
College place to find self, not soulmate
Shelly Lorts
Issue date: 7/1/09 Section: Forum
So I told Harper exactly what I would want to hear: he's out there; your perfect soul mate is out there and as soon as you stop looking, he'll come to you. The truth is no one wants to be patient for love. College has become one big hunting ground for a husband because someone established that this must be our timeline. By the way, I have it on good authority that at our 10 year high school reunions, we're going to be hearing about who's getting a divorce.
Here's what I know: you can't truly be happy and secure with someone else until you're happy and secure with yourself. I don't believe that we're at a point in our early 20's that we know ourselves enough to say, "This is who I'm going to be forever, so this is what you can expect 10 years down the road if you marry me."
Like any rule though, there are exceptions: If you've been with the guy for years and grown with him and prepared to blend your lives, perfect, take that plunge. It's the impulse to rush into it that's the problem. College and early adult life should be about finding you, not him. Don't build your life around someone else, let your lives merge once you've figured out what you want and need for yourself.
I do believe that Harper will find her perfect guy: she's a special kind of person, so of course she deserves a special kind of guy. But in the meantime, she's building a career and she's dating and she's seeing what's out there. That way, when he does come along, she'll know what she wants in a guy because she'll have experienced all of things that she doesn't want. And if he waits a few years to find her, then hey, she'll have some amazing experiences that shaped the woman that he's going to marry.
Shelly Lorts is a senior in liberal studies. The opinions expressed in her columns do not necessarily represent the opinion of The Daily Barometer staff. Lorts can be reached at forum@ailybarometer.com
Here's what I know: you can't truly be happy and secure with someone else until you're happy and secure with yourself. I don't believe that we're at a point in our early 20's that we know ourselves enough to say, "This is who I'm going to be forever, so this is what you can expect 10 years down the road if you marry me."
Like any rule though, there are exceptions: If you've been with the guy for years and grown with him and prepared to blend your lives, perfect, take that plunge. It's the impulse to rush into it that's the problem. College and early adult life should be about finding you, not him. Don't build your life around someone else, let your lives merge once you've figured out what you want and need for yourself.
I do believe that Harper will find her perfect guy: she's a special kind of person, so of course she deserves a special kind of guy. But in the meantime, she's building a career and she's dating and she's seeing what's out there. That way, when he does come along, she'll know what she wants in a guy because she'll have experienced all of things that she doesn't want. And if he waits a few years to find her, then hey, she'll have some amazing experiences that shaped the woman that he's going to marry.
Shelly Lorts is a senior in liberal studies. The opinions expressed in her columns do not necessarily represent the opinion of The Daily Barometer staff. Lorts can be reached at forum@ailybarometer.com
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Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
sperez1983
American girls
posted 8/23/09 @ 11:23 PM PST
Looking for a serious relationship is hard to find specially if one got a high standard of a relationship or a person.
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