College place to find self, not soulmate
Shelly Lorts
Issue date: 7/1/09 Section: Forum
Summer is the season of weddings. I've spent a lot of days of my life being forced into frilly little dresses and dragged to weddings by my parents, but this is the first year that I've crossed that threshold of true adulthood and attended the weddings of my own friends.
There's something really strange about watching your best friend from middle school walk down the aisle in a real white dress, to a real groom with a real minister waiting at the end to legally bond her to another human for the rest of her life.
All of these weddings (and news of the weddings that I wasn't invited to) got me thinking about a pattern that I've noticed in girls my age. Two years ago I sat down with a good friend for our weekly Pinkberry date and gab session - if you haven't had Pinkberry, I suggest you drop this newspaper right now and drive straight to LA; it will change your life.
Harper was 20 at the time, the daughter of a prominent film producer and heiress to a small Hollywood franchise that we all grew up with. Of all my friends in LA, Harper was the least fake and the most loveable. These weekly dates usually turned into dating confessions, concerns and tears, this night being no exception. We had recently decided that Harper was going through a "quarter-life-crisis," a normal event for a college student - if you haven't been there yet, believe me: it's coming.
Harper was talking about yet another date gone wrong. She poked at her strawberry freckled frozen yogurt and said, "Shell, I'm just so scared that I'll never find him." As a girl, I can sympathize; my theory is that whether or not we realize it, we have all come to expect that we go to college, meet the perfect guy, graduate and get married. It's the unspoken plan. And though there is a little piece at the core of me that longs for this too, I started wondering why we should have to expect this. When did marriage become the be-all, end-all for self worth? Are we so afraid that we might end up alone that we're willing to run the altar just so that we can secure someone for the future?
There's something really strange about watching your best friend from middle school walk down the aisle in a real white dress, to a real groom with a real minister waiting at the end to legally bond her to another human for the rest of her life.
All of these weddings (and news of the weddings that I wasn't invited to) got me thinking about a pattern that I've noticed in girls my age. Two years ago I sat down with a good friend for our weekly Pinkberry date and gab session - if you haven't had Pinkberry, I suggest you drop this newspaper right now and drive straight to LA; it will change your life.
Harper was 20 at the time, the daughter of a prominent film producer and heiress to a small Hollywood franchise that we all grew up with. Of all my friends in LA, Harper was the least fake and the most loveable. These weekly dates usually turned into dating confessions, concerns and tears, this night being no exception. We had recently decided that Harper was going through a "quarter-life-crisis," a normal event for a college student - if you haven't been there yet, believe me: it's coming.
Harper was talking about yet another date gone wrong. She poked at her strawberry freckled frozen yogurt and said, "Shell, I'm just so scared that I'll never find him." As a girl, I can sympathize; my theory is that whether or not we realize it, we have all come to expect that we go to college, meet the perfect guy, graduate and get married. It's the unspoken plan. And though there is a little piece at the core of me that longs for this too, I started wondering why we should have to expect this. When did marriage become the be-all, end-all for self worth? Are we so afraid that we might end up alone that we're willing to run the altar just so that we can secure someone for the future?
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sperez1983
American girls
posted 8/23/09 @ 11:23 PM PST
Looking for a serious relationship is hard to find specially if one got a high standard of a relationship or a person.
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