Spring Break
Lost in translation: girl language versus guy language
Shelly Lorts
Issue date: 7/8/09 Section: Forum
In the universes of men and women, civil wars run rampant. However, when waging war, women and men use very different tactics: men fight physical and women … we prefer a more underhanded approach. If two guys find themselves in the midst of a disagreeable situation, one guy will punch out the other guy and bang- it's done for good - they pat each other on the butts and go play X-Box.
When women are angry at each other, it's psychological warfare. We make snide comments, start gossip, sabotage opportunities and most of all, never ever let the other girl know we're upset. But underneath the smiles and hidden messages, we still hate each other. And believe me gentleman: it never ends. It is because of this difference in mental wiring that the cross between the two worlds is often foggy on both ends.
I recently went out to lunch with my best friend from high school. She's one of those girls who knows everyone else's business and if I'm ever in need of some juicy girl gossip (to make me feel better about myself of course), she's the one I call. She's never malicious; she is a rare breed of girl in that she will never think or speak negatively of anyone else. She subscribes to the belief that positive output means positive gains - and I love her to death.
It just so happened that as we sat down to eat, I was in the midst of an argument with a guy I was dating. That's right: girl world and guy world were attempting to reach a peaceful resolution through communication. (PS: Text fighting isn't at all the way to go. They won't hear your calm and reasonable tone and just think you're angrier and crazier than you actually are. Try it face to face next time.) The problem? I was repeating every text message that he sent to my faithful friend in order to analyze meaning.
See girls, we're analyzers; we assume that just because everything we say has a secret meaning, we can decode what guys have to say. But the truth is guys just plain tell it how it is. Their games don't extend beyond the ball court (or the computer screen). I found myself interpreting a text that said, "I don't really feel like hanging out tonight, I'll call you tomorrow" to mean, "I don't ever want to see you again". Dramatic, I know, but I can't help my mega estrogen levels.
When women are angry at each other, it's psychological warfare. We make snide comments, start gossip, sabotage opportunities and most of all, never ever let the other girl know we're upset. But underneath the smiles and hidden messages, we still hate each other. And believe me gentleman: it never ends. It is because of this difference in mental wiring that the cross between the two worlds is often foggy on both ends.
I recently went out to lunch with my best friend from high school. She's one of those girls who knows everyone else's business and if I'm ever in need of some juicy girl gossip (to make me feel better about myself of course), she's the one I call. She's never malicious; she is a rare breed of girl in that she will never think or speak negatively of anyone else. She subscribes to the belief that positive output means positive gains - and I love her to death.
It just so happened that as we sat down to eat, I was in the midst of an argument with a guy I was dating. That's right: girl world and guy world were attempting to reach a peaceful resolution through communication. (PS: Text fighting isn't at all the way to go. They won't hear your calm and reasonable tone and just think you're angrier and crazier than you actually are. Try it face to face next time.) The problem? I was repeating every text message that he sent to my faithful friend in order to analyze meaning.
See girls, we're analyzers; we assume that just because everything we say has a secret meaning, we can decode what guys have to say. But the truth is guys just plain tell it how it is. Their games don't extend beyond the ball court (or the computer screen). I found myself interpreting a text that said, "I don't really feel like hanging out tonight, I'll call you tomorrow" to mean, "I don't ever want to see you again". Dramatic, I know, but I can't help my mega estrogen levels.
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